Yes people, you too can learn how to speak like a faux Cockney just be revising this exhaustable list. The accent must be done right or you will be exposed for the middle class faker that you really are. Good luck!

Minimal respect to Andina for coming up with so much crap

Saying Meaning
Gary Lager
Tom Cruise Booze
Nelson Mandela Stella (Artois)
Zola (Budd) Budweiser
Gustavs (Kuerten) Curtains
French three o' clocks (trois heures) Trousers
Rhythms (and blues) Shoes
Claire Rayners Trainers
Dog (and bone) Phone
Cat (and mouse) House
Florida (quays) Keys
Fridge freezer Geezer
Richard (the Third) Bird (or less commonly – Turd)
Rub-a-dub-dub (or Tom Cruiser) Pub
'Alf pint 'Arris(totle) Bottle (of beer)
Currant (Bun) Sun
Sky (Rocket) Pocket
Joe (blake) Steak
Malcom (Macdonald) McDonalds
Jam Jar Car
Rod Laver Favour